Funny


 

7 Types of iPhone Users at All Area Codes.

http://www.hardlined.com/murphy.txt

Some of my favorites:

Ade’s Law
Anybody can win — unless there happens to be a second entry.
Law of Algebra
You never catch on until after the test.
Allen’s Axiom
When all else fails, follow instructions.

Cartoon Laws
1.Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck
steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he
chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes
over.
2.Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot
from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that
only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac
Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge’s surcease.
3.Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also
called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure
explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the
wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout- perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often
catalyzes this reaction.
4.The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for
whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such
an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.
5.All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock
to propel them directly away from the earth’s surface. A spooky noise or an adversary’s signature
sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a
flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch
the ground, especially when in flight.
6.As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of
tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character’s head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of
altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are
spinning or being throttled. A ‘wacky’ character has the option of self- replication only at manic high
speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
7.Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.
This trompe l’oeil inconsistency has baffled generation, but at least it is known that whoever paints
an entrance on a wall’s surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical
space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is
ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
8.Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more
deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced,
splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few
moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.
Corollary – A cat will assume the shape of its container.
9.For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance. This is the one law of animated
cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of
watching it happen to a duck instead.
10.Everything falls faster than an anvil. Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner
cartoons.

MADATOMS – WHAT’S YOUR ADDICTION? by Matt Houghton – Artist: Jacob Reed.

Top 20 List of the Best Geek Quotes, Sayings and Phrases

For all the geeks out there, do you know someone who tried to teach themselves how to read Barcode? Here is a list of Geek quotes, sayings and phrases. Some of them are from Boardofwisdom who put together a nice compilation themselves.

#1. Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF. All my base Are belong to you — someone on SlashDot

#2. There is no place like 127.0.0.1

#3. Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken

#4. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning

#5. Computers are incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid; humans are incredibly slow, inaccurate and brilliant; together they are powerful beyond imagination. — Albert Einstein

#6. There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary and those who don’t.

#7. If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0

#8. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d

#9. I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly

#10. I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code

#11. My Software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

#12. The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts “OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!

#13. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it’s twice as big as it needs to be.

#14. Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers

#15. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

#16. A Life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?

#17. I spent a minute looking at my own code by accident. I was thinking “What the hell is this guy doing?”

#18. Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button.

#19. Alert! User Error. Please replace user and press any key to continue

#20. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization. — Weinberg’s Second Law

via Top 20 List of the Best Geek Quotes, Sayings and Phrases | AskStudent.

Don’t Think CTRL-ALT-DEL Can Help With This – Friends of Irony – Ironic Photos

Don’t Think CTRL-ALT-DEL Can Help With This – Friends of Irony – Ironic Photos.

pirate-vs-pay.png PNG Image, 800×825 pixels – Scaled 85%.

foomandoonian – Dante’s Internet.

132.60 cups of Starbucks Grande Caffe Mocha + You = Death.

Death by Caffeine.

BedJump.com – Bed Jump – Hotel Bed Jumping.

tobiasfraenzel-ping-pong-door-550×395.jpg JPEG Image, 550×395 pixels.

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